I don't do windows!

Are there ever times in your life when you run into recurring themes? Recently, I have noticed the reappearance of "boundaries" in my life. For much of my life, when I haven't had focus, I did what people wanted or "needed" me to do, sometimes sacrificing myself in the process, sometimes coming out wiser and stronger than I could have ever dreamt. But, I have been kind of a go with the flow kind of person, always wanting a challenge and going where the wind was taking me.

And while the wind has been good to me, I am feeling more and more, the need to set boundaries to allow me to start to focus and start making the progress I want to see in my life. To begin to move toward the goals and dreams that I have for my life. To begin to live the life I want and was meant to have.

The first instance came within my business. Years ago I did more web development, HTML and Dreamweaver work, and since have begun to employ a wonderful CMS system that has allowed me to focus on the design end of the site and worry far less about the coding end. While I don't mind HTML, I really have no great burning desire to spend my days and nights looking for the one space or letter that I messed up on that has caused the entire site to crash. Just not my thing. I had a potential client contact me, interested in my doing work with them, a business that I had long wanted to get to know more about and work with. Some really inspiring and accomplished people, doing good work. And I very much wanted to be working with them.

After the project was begun, and I had a broader scope of what the needs were, it became more apparent that this was more of a "development" rather than a "design" project. I told myself I could do it, and just need to have some time to polish up the HTML and I would be good to go. I started playing, and the more and more I got into it, it was evident, I don't DO code. I can, I just don't want to. Like math, if I have to or it is required or in my (or the clients) best interest, I can, but there is nothing remotely exciting about that prospect.

So, after careful consideration, I determined that I could not in good faith, continue on the project. It was one that deserved meticulous work, and the ability to push the envelope a bit, and my heart just wasn't in it. So I opted out, it was for me, very difficult, but continuing would not have been productive for me, or the client.

I started to ponder, where I want to focus, what are the things I really don't want to do. Up until this point I have done pretty much what clients have asked; event planning, print, web, consulting, identity, photography, etc. But what is it that I really want to do? Is there one in particular, or is it a mix of all of them?

The next instance hit my inbox this morning. My KickstartMyDay video. Michael talks about a Best Buy coupon, that he had in his possession, but was already given the discount the day before. He talks about doing what you know is right, and about sticking to your principles.

Round three hits me in my Goal Achiever group meeting today. A fellow goal achiever talked about how she just recently determined what her non-negotiables in her life are. It really made me stop and think, we all have them, but maybe have never verbalized them. She had actually journalled them, and I wonder, if writing them down doesn't make a difference.

I made me think, what are my non-negotiables? What are the things in my life that are black and white? If I could identify them, would that help me be clear about not taking on the grays? Or taking them on, only when I know it will be mutually beneficial? Or are the grays non-negotiable? Is a 75% gray OK, but 80% out of the question? While I understand that each instance is different, each project, each client, but is there something that I would go over the top on, "no-more wire hangers-esque?"

If individuals have non-negotiables, should companies as well? Or is a company's non-negotiable list the cumulative of its employees? If so, as your staff changes, do your core values change as well, or does your company have a clear vision, a clear set of non-negotiables? I believe in the concept of if you build it they will come. So, if you are clear for what the intentions of your company are, you will attract others with those same intentions, others who will help keep you focused on that mission.

So, if that theory is true, why wouldn't you set personal non-negotiables, or create a personal mission statement? Why not spell out your non-negotiables and allow it to attract the right people to you?

I am not ready to put code on my non-negotiables list, because it is necessary and there are changing elements which I am really interested in, such as XML, because it ties web and print together. I think it is important for each of us, to start thinking about our non-negotiables and start being clear with others what they are. While I like to focus on the positives, and not dwell in the negatives, I don't think it hurts to have non-negotiables, and know where you draw the line, it might give you better perspective where you stand.

What is on your non-negotiable list? What do you know for sure? I don't do windows.

Creating your Vision

(my vision board is full of things I would like to realize in 2009 and beyond. Exploring liturgical art, travelling the world, opening the doors on a creative facilitation center, public speaking, becoming more active, appreciating my family, finishing my book, meeting Oprah and Melissa Gilbert and her son, welcoming abundance into my life, and marketing my own hot fudge recipe.)

As we all know so well, the new year is a time for resolutions and planning for the new year. Many people will make some luke-warm commitments to lose weight, stop smoking, save more, and on and on. My January 15th, their commitment has lessoned, and by February just as the smell of Ben Gay has worn off and the fresh fruit and vegetables are beginning to mold in the refrigerator we lose interest and return to our old habits.

So, how do we make some of those goals stick. Well, I like many others are very visual people, so why not take a very popular tool these days and make your goals visual as well. Make a Vision Board! All the rage, you have heard them talked about on Oprah, in the news on online. A simple tool, you can quickly and easily create one today.

How do I start?

1. I like to start with making a list of all of the things I am grateful for, the things I love within my life right now and how they make me feel.

2. Take the things you wish to attract to yourself, make a list or collection images which represent them to you and how they will make you feel when you achieve or are actively living them.

3. Find a board, canvas, piece of construction paper, bulletin board, or portion of a wall, and begin arranging the photos which represent these goals to you.

4. Location, location, location. Place your vision board in a place that you will see it every day. Ideally, take a few minutes each day, uninterrupted to really look at it, feel the emotion you will feel when you are living the life portrayed on your vision board. Evaluate the days plans, what are you doing today to get yourself closer to those goals, those feelings?

5. Update as necessary. As you progress through the year, feel free to add or remove items to reflect your changing wants and needs. A vision board is a work in progress.

Remember, your vision board doesn't just need to be personal, what about sitting down with your team or office and making a vision board for your department or business? You may have written initiatives, or talked about goals, but can you really visualize them? Are you reminded each day as you enter your office why you are there? Build your dreams, create a vision board.

More Resources on Vision Boards:

Jodee Bock: Your Already Know this Stuff Mini Vision Board

Oprah Show discussing Vision Boards

The right tools.

Over the weekend I had an experience which probably seems quite commonplace or mundane for others, but for me it was really liberating. Over the years, we have done more than our fair share of remodelling, but my husband, Tom, is quite handy and my contributions were more along the line of planning, purchasing, and painting while he did more of the physical labor or building.

For some time he has been scheming and "working on" this ice fishing house with my cousin Jason. I have been largely uninvolved while being deeply fascinated about the organization of a lot of stuff in small spaces for some time. The house has been progressing nicely and with a base of ice forming, they are getting the itch to get it finished.

Yesterday I decided to head up to the shop to lend a hand. Honestly, I had intended on hanging out, watching, snacking and maybe playing "go-fer." And yet, lingering in the background was the draw of power tools. I watched as they repeatedly approached the miter box/chop saw thingy, effortlessly zipped through a piece of wood and off to do something "constructive." I have seen it used before, but had never really needed it. I had made one cut the day before, which was the wrong length, and should have been notched, but it was a good first effort.

I could see the frustration building, trying to get the angle of the cut perfect. They were trying to join three quarter-rounds in the corner. So I jumped in, these are just angles, we can figure this out. My husband removed himself and handed me the moulding to work out the angles. Jason and I cut a number of samples trying to determine the best way to approach it, and got two of the tree, and finally ended up coming together after a little precision sanding for the lack of a coping saw. And I was having fun.

We had discussed just purchasing cabinet doors for the counter that the stove/oven sits in. But then decided we could probably just build them ourselves. That was now my assignment after having mastered the miter saw. I was hesitant, but grabbed some scraps and started in. The whole interior is knotty pine tongue and groove, so I wanted the cabinets to match, and for the seam lines all to match up, so with some calculating, proceeded to cut all of the pieces for the doors. They helped with the assembly, but it was an accomplishment. In the end, I think they looked great. And now I am scheming what else I can do to put my new found tool.

All this work got me thinking about the things I want in 2009, and what are the tools I am going to need to accomplish those goals? How do I acquire the "tools" for to accomplish goals, or what tools might make those tasks easier?

I believe, with the economic downturn, 2009 will be a year of "sharing." Ideas, skills, things, and time, people will begin to be more conscious about sharing. Learning to budget more carefully, learning to cook instead of eating out, learning to fix things instead of buying new, learning to settle down and reconnect with people and sharing time and community with them. In business, maybe the tool is the ability to think more creatively, or being more aggressive about problem solving.

So, as you are making your New Years Resolutions (goals or yearly initiatives), don't forget to look at the tools you will need to make those things happen. Those tools can be time, people, education, consulting, communication mediums, or actual physical tools.

Do you know which tools you need, and how to leverage them for the most "power" going into this coming year? I would love to help you in that process.