I don't do windows!

Are there ever times in your life when you run into recurring themes? Recently, I have noticed the reappearance of "boundaries" in my life. For much of my life, when I haven't had focus, I did what people wanted or "needed" me to do, sometimes sacrificing myself in the process, sometimes coming out wiser and stronger than I could have ever dreamt. But, I have been kind of a go with the flow kind of person, always wanting a challenge and going where the wind was taking me.

And while the wind has been good to me, I am feeling more and more, the need to set boundaries to allow me to start to focus and start making the progress I want to see in my life. To begin to move toward the goals and dreams that I have for my life. To begin to live the life I want and was meant to have.

The first instance came within my business. Years ago I did more web development, HTML and Dreamweaver work, and since have begun to employ a wonderful CMS system that has allowed me to focus on the design end of the site and worry far less about the coding end. While I don't mind HTML, I really have no great burning desire to spend my days and nights looking for the one space or letter that I messed up on that has caused the entire site to crash. Just not my thing. I had a potential client contact me, interested in my doing work with them, a business that I had long wanted to get to know more about and work with. Some really inspiring and accomplished people, doing good work. And I very much wanted to be working with them.

After the project was begun, and I had a broader scope of what the needs were, it became more apparent that this was more of a "development" rather than a "design" project. I told myself I could do it, and just need to have some time to polish up the HTML and I would be good to go. I started playing, and the more and more I got into it, it was evident, I don't DO code. I can, I just don't want to. Like math, if I have to or it is required or in my (or the clients) best interest, I can, but there is nothing remotely exciting about that prospect.

So, after careful consideration, I determined that I could not in good faith, continue on the project. It was one that deserved meticulous work, and the ability to push the envelope a bit, and my heart just wasn't in it. So I opted out, it was for me, very difficult, but continuing would not have been productive for me, or the client.

I started to ponder, where I want to focus, what are the things I really don't want to do. Up until this point I have done pretty much what clients have asked; event planning, print, web, consulting, identity, photography, etc. But what is it that I really want to do? Is there one in particular, or is it a mix of all of them?

The next instance hit my inbox this morning. My KickstartMyDay video. Michael talks about a Best Buy coupon, that he had in his possession, but was already given the discount the day before. He talks about doing what you know is right, and about sticking to your principles.

Round three hits me in my Goal Achiever group meeting today. A fellow goal achiever talked about how she just recently determined what her non-negotiables in her life are. It really made me stop and think, we all have them, but maybe have never verbalized them. She had actually journalled them, and I wonder, if writing them down doesn't make a difference.

I made me think, what are my non-negotiables? What are the things in my life that are black and white? If I could identify them, would that help me be clear about not taking on the grays? Or taking them on, only when I know it will be mutually beneficial? Or are the grays non-negotiable? Is a 75% gray OK, but 80% out of the question? While I understand that each instance is different, each project, each client, but is there something that I would go over the top on, "no-more wire hangers-esque?"

If individuals have non-negotiables, should companies as well? Or is a company's non-negotiable list the cumulative of its employees? If so, as your staff changes, do your core values change as well, or does your company have a clear vision, a clear set of non-negotiables? I believe in the concept of if you build it they will come. So, if you are clear for what the intentions of your company are, you will attract others with those same intentions, others who will help keep you focused on that mission.

So, if that theory is true, why wouldn't you set personal non-negotiables, or create a personal mission statement? Why not spell out your non-negotiables and allow it to attract the right people to you?

I am not ready to put code on my non-negotiables list, because it is necessary and there are changing elements which I am really interested in, such as XML, because it ties web and print together. I think it is important for each of us, to start thinking about our non-negotiables and start being clear with others what they are. While I like to focus on the positives, and not dwell in the negatives, I don't think it hurts to have non-negotiables, and know where you draw the line, it might give you better perspective where you stand.

What is on your non-negotiable list? What do you know for sure? I don't do windows.